Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
