no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
