The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize