I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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