i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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