We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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