i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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