Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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