so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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