i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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