There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
