Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
