i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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