Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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