I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
