I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I die, sorry about rent.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
