what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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