I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize