drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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