Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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