Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
