you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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