You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
