Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
