UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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