i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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