The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
