Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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