I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i love accidental penises.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
