He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
