no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
