My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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