THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
