I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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