this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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