Kiss
Puke
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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