If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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