i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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