You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
