I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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