So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
