hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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