It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
