Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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