we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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