So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
