Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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