drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
