My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
