Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
