i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
