At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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