I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
