I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
