I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
