You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
