I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh god the rape fog is back!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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