My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
