Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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