just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
