he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I just put wine in my tea
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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