benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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