You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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