I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
