question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
