Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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