Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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