Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
